Texas Rebels: Egan Page 12

  He turned his head to look at her. “I figured you had enough for one day. What are you going to do now?”

  “I’ll probably go back to New York soon. I’m still dealing with a lot of resentment toward my dad, but when I think about it, I realize I jumped to all the wrong conclusions about my mother’s death. Maybe because that was the only way I could deal with it at the time.”

  “When my dad died, I had a lot of guilty feelings, too.”

  “You did?” She sat up straight, eager to hear what Egan had to say, because she knew he didn’t share things lightly.

  “I was in college when Falcon called and said I needed to come home. By the tone of his voice, I knew something was wrong. My dad had already passed away, but they didn’t tell me until I reached the house. My mom was inconsolable and we were struggling to deal with our feelings. I kept thinking that if only I had spent more time with him, maybe he wouldn’t have drunk so much. I just felt he needed me and I wasn’t there. Ironically, I started to drink to kill the pain and got in with the wrong crowd. A stupid way to deal with my feelings.”

  She placed her hand on his forearm. “It’s like we don’t know what to do, so we do the worst possible thing.”

  His eyes met hers. “Yeah. It’s time to shelve the guilty feelings. Time to move on and accept that we did our best.”

  She leaned over and kissed his cheek. “You smell good,” she whispered.

  “Irish Spring soap.”

  “Why are you not pushing me away?” she asked again.

  “I’m too tired.”

  “Good. Don’t think. Just feel all the good things that we know about each other.”

  “Rachel...”

  She placed her forefinger over his lips. “You’re thinking.”

  “Nothing can change my past.”

  She curled into his side. “I’m not thinking about your past. I’m thinking about now. Here. You and me. We’re two consenting adults and can handle whatever happens.”

  “What do you want to happen?”

  She raised her head and stared into his gorgeous eyes. “Call me ma’am.”

  His lips curved into a smile. “What do you want to happen, ma’am?”

  “Make love to me, cowboy.”

  Chapter Eleven

  “Rachel...”

  “Shh.” She placed her finger over his lips again. “You’re thinking too much. Remember, no strings, no commitment, no fantasy, no happily-ever-after. Just us. Here and now, acting on the attraction we have for each other. You feel it. I know you do.” She placed a kiss on his strong jawline, loving the roughness of his partial beard against her sensitive skin. A clean, manly scent filled her nostrils and she rained kisses all the way to his lips. Nibbling on his lower lip, she heard his swift intake of breath and then he covered her mouth with his.

  She moaned and met the urgency of his lips. She slid her left knee over and straddled him. Deepening the kiss, he held her head in place. The calluses on his hands were rough, but felt like velvet to her, and she was completely lost in all the emotions that swelled within her—loving, giving and taking in the most mind-explosive way. She ran her fingers through his damp hair and pressed herself against him, wanting to get as close as possible to feel every muscle in his well-toned body.

  Their tongues tasted and danced with a sense of that same urgency. It wasn’t enough. He eased her top over her head and undid her bra, her breasts filling his hands. His lips teased one nipple until she wanted to scream with pleasure. With his arms around her waist, he stood, capturing her lips once again and headed for the hallway. She wrapped her legs tighter around him, her lips never leaving his. The darkness was the first thing she became aware of. There wasn’t a light on in his bedroom and she didn’t care. All she wanted was him. All she wanted was to be a part of him.

  He gently laid her on the bed. “Just a sec.” He dashed out the door and was back before she could catch her breath. “I got a condom out of Elias’s room.” Egan then whipped his T-shirt over his head and shed his jeans. Neither spoke as he lay beside her and took her into his arms again. Unzipping her pants, he removed them easily along with her thong. Then they were skin on skin, heart on heart and the world tilted and ceased to exist. It was just the two of them.

  He kissed every inch of her body and the flame of desire blazed along every nerve ending. No one had ever kissed her like that. Completely. Caringly. Passionately. And with love. Even though he would never admit it, there was love in every touch, every caress, every kiss.

  Unable to remain passive, she returned the favor, exploring his body with abandon. His muscles were tight, his skin rough and masculine. When her hand traveled across the light smattering of hair on his chest and then lower, he groaned and covered her body with his. He thrust into her and she lost all train of thought, giving herself up to the most exquisite pleasure she’d ever known. Egan’s love.

  It could have been seconds or minutes; she couldn’t recall. All she knew was that she would remember forever this moment when she and Egan became one. He slid to the side and cradled her in his arms. Rachel lay contentedly against him and prayed that he would see that they were meant to be together.

  Her tiredness claimed her and she fell into peaceful sleep, with Egan’s hand on her bare stomach.

  * * *

  EGAN WOKE UP to a completeness he hadn’t felt in a long time. Then it all came rushing back. Rachel. His right arm lay across her naked stomach and he immediately pulled it away.

  What had he done?

  He’d crossed a line and he didn’t know how he was going to handle this. He’d been tired last night and had taken advantage of what she was offering. Nothing had changed in their relationship. Oh, man. He’d made a big mistake. Flashes of their lovemaking filtered across his mind and he pushed them away. He couldn’t weaken.

  Scooting away from her warm, tempting body, he eased from the bed and reached for his jeans. She stirred and sat up.

  “Egan.”

  He ran both hands through his hair, searching for words, but none came to mind that would help the situation. “It’s after two.”

  “So?” In the moonlight streaming through the window he could see her clearly, as well as the frown on her face. His gut tightened.

  “Rachel, we shouldn’t have...”

  “Oh, please.” She pushed tumbled blond hair behind her ears. “Are we back to that?”

  “We should never have...”

  She jumped from the bed. “Okay. I get the message.” She looked around the darkened room. “Where are my damn clothes?”

  “Here.” He tossed her her pants and thong from the floor. “Your blouse and bra are in the other room.”

  She walked past him into the living room and he followed. In the lamplight, he weakened. In nothing but her pants, she was sexy and tempting and everything he had ever wanted in a woman. He wondered if he might be losing his mind, turning away from someone so perfect for him. But he had his reasons.

  As she put on her bra, he looked away. Memories of touching and kissing her breasts were too vivid and real. He had to be strong.

  “You said no strings, no commitment,” he reminded her.

  She jerked the pink top over her head. “That doesn’t mean you can kick me out of your bed just as soon as it’s over. That’s cruel, Egan.”

  “Rachel...”

  “Don’t talk to me. I just might smack you.” She looked around the room. “Where are my shoes?”

  “At the door.” He pointed. “You pulled them off when you came in.”

  She slid her feet into them and Pete scratched at the door. With one hand, she opened it, and Pete scurried outside. She went through the door before it closed.

  “Rachel...” Egan followed her out onto the porch.

  She swung around, her blue eyes blazing. “Don’t say my name. You don’t have the right to say my name.”

  “There is no future for us. Can’t you see that?”

  “I didn’t ask for a future.
All I asked for was a lover. A kind one who would consider my feelings.”

  “You want more than that and you know it.”

  “I leave for New York on Monday or Tuesday, and I’m not sure how much more you think I want, because I know you’re not coming with me.”

  “You’re not a one-night stand.”

  “That’s an excuse, Egan. You’re scared. You’re scared of what you’re really feeling, and you’re pushing me away because that’s all you can do right now. But I deserved more.”

  “Your father is Hardison Hollister and that ends any kind of relationship we could have. I can’t tolerate the man and I refuse to be around him.”

  “Yes, I’ve heard the story.” She looked off into the night. “Stay out here in your safe little world where no one can touch you. Where you’re free without the everyday hardships of life. Without the rewards of love and your own family. Stay here, Egan, because that’s what you really want. You’re scared to attempt anything else, and that surprises me because you’re the strongest man I’ve ever known.” She took a deep breath. “Thank you for saving my life.”

  With those words she walked into the darkness toward her car, leaving him feeling empty and alone. And scared, just as she’d said. How could a grown man be scared to live? To accept love?

  The Mustang revved up and drove off into the night. A piercing pain shot through Egan and he knew he’d just lost something precious. Something he should fight for.

  Pete barked at his feet.

  “Yeah, boy, I might regret that for the rest of my life.”

  * * *

  EGAN TOSSED AND TURNED until five, and then he got up, made coffee and fixed breakfast. With little sleep, he knew the day was going to be a long one. But he was revitalized in other ways: his mind was clear, his muscles relaxed and he wasn’t so edgy.

  Pete growled and Egan fed him another piece of bacon. “You know, I don’t think you’re getting old. You’re just fat and lazy.”

  A blonde came from the hallway, wearing a rumpled red dress and carrying red high heels in her hand. She made a dash for the back door. “You haven’t seen me,” she said.

  “O-kay.” Egan knew the woman. She was the daughter of the owner of Rowdy’s. She and Elias had come in about 2:30 a.m. Giggles and moans had interrupted what little sleep Egan had managed to get.

  As he poured another cup of coffee, Quincy came in the back door with a duffel bag in his hand. “Was that Tammy Jo Snyder just leaving?” he asked.

  “Yep.”

  “What was she doing here?”

  Egan sat at the table to nurse his coffee. “Elias.” He didn’t need to say anything else.

  Quincy shook his head and went to his room. In a few minutes he was back for a cup of coffee. Jude walked in about the same time. Tall and lean, Jude favored Egan more than any of the other brothers. They had the same dark eyes, too. Jude was known as the quiet, responsible one. He didn’t talk much.

  He grabbed a mug. “Falcon wants to brand and work the calves in the northeast pasture. That’s close to the McCray property line and Mom doesn’t want any trouble.”

  “We can handle that.” Quincy filled a plate with scrambled eggs and bacon that Egan had cooked.

  Before the discussion went any further, Elias stumbled into the room, butt naked.

  “Did you forget something?” Quincy asked.

  “What?” Elias’s eyes were bloodshot and he looked disoriented. He had a hangover—big time.

  “Your damn clothes,” Jude said. “Unless you plan on riding like that.”

  Elias looked down. “Hell. Where’s my underwear?”

  “That’s what we were wondering,” Egan answered.

  Elias stumbled back to his bedroom and returned in a pair of jeans. “I need coffee. Bad.”

  Jude moved away from the coffeepot. “When are you gonna get your act together? Partying all weekend is one thing, but now you’re doing it during the week. It’s time to grow up. It takes all of us to run this ranch.”

  “Well, at least I don’t live with my mama.”

  That’s when Jude coldcocked him right in the nose without spilling a drop of his coffee. Elias went flying backward onto the linoleum and lay there like a dead rat.

  It was hard to say who was more shocked, Jude, Elias, Quincy or Egan. Jude wasn’t known for violence. He rarely fought with his brothers, and for him to hit Elias, something had to be bothering him. But then, maybe it took all these years to lose his temper, because everybody at one time or another wanted to hit Elias.

  Jude placed his cup on the counter and walked out. Quincy squatted by Elias.

  “What are you using for brains these days?”

  Egan squatted on the other side. “Obviously, not what the good Lord gave him.”

  Elias blinked his eyes several times. “Are there birds in here?”

  “No,” Egan replied.

  “I hear chirping.”

  “It’s your brains leaking.” Quincy reached down and grabbed one arm, and Egan took the other. They pulled him to his feet.

  “Did Jude just hit me?” Elias wiped the blood dripping from his nose with the back of his hand. Egan quickly handed him some paper towels.

  “Yeah,” Quincy told him. “And if I were you, I wouldn’t make that same crass remark to Falcon, because you might not wake up for about three days, and maybe not then.”

  Elias held his head back to stop the bleeding. “Why is everyone so sensitive?”

  “Go take a shower and get dressed.” Quincy gave him a push toward the bathroom. “And no back talk.”

  After Elias disappeared, Egan asked, “What’s up with Jude?”

  “Paige’s sister is in town paying taxes on the old home place. She was seen at the bakery talking to people who Jude knows.”

  “And he’s worried someone might tell the sister about Zane?”

  “That’s about it.”

  “Is she still in town?”

  “I don’t know and I’m not asking. Let’s go to work.”

  Egan put the cups in the sink and followed his brother out the door. Just like Leah and Falcon, Jude and Paige had been lovers in high school. Paige was an incredibly smart young woman and valedictorian of her class. She’d received a full scholarship for medical school and was devastated when she found out she was pregnant. After she and Jude talked about it, they’d decided to give the baby up for adoption. But Jude couldn’t live with that decision. He went back to the clinic and got his son and raised him. To this day Paige didn’t know that. And Jude never wanted her to find out. Paige’s family had moved away from Horseshoe, but the old house was still here and owned by Paige’s mother.

  Thinking about someone else’s problems was better than thinking about his own. Egan wasn’t sure how last night had gotten so out of control. Putting it out of his mind was not an easy thing to do. The touch of Rachel’s hand, the feel of her skin and the caress of her lips was strong, and he couldn’t shake it. But he would.

  He tightened the cinch on Gypsy. Rico strolled in and stared at him.

  “What?”

  “I heard wolves last night and came back to the barn to check on you, and you were with a woman. A pretty blonde.”

  For Jericho to mention this, Egan knew he had to be concerned about him.

  “It was Rachel Hollister. She wanted to say thank-you.”

  Rico nodded, but there was no relief on his face.

  “Now what?”

  Rico shrugged. “Nothing.”

  Egan laid an arm across his saddle. “You saw us go to the house?”

  “None of my business, man.”

  “You’re the best friend I’ve ever had, Jericho. Even my friends in high school deserted me when I went to prison. But you’re a friend for life and I can tell you anything. Ms. Hollister was here last night to thank me and things got a little heavy. No worry, though. She won’t be coming back.”

  “Do you want her to come back?”

  “What?” Egan checked
to make sure everything was tight on the saddle, and lost his train of thought.

  Before he could gather his wits, his mom and Falcon walked into the barn. Quincy and Jude, followed by Elias, came in from the other end leading their horses, ready for work.

  “Good, everyone is here.” His mom, dressed in a printed chambray shirt, jeans and boots, started the conversation. An old worn straw hat rested on her head. She always looked the same, except Egan now noticed the worry lines etched on her aging face. “We’re going to work the calves in the northeast pasture next to the McCray property. I want you to have your eyes and ears open. I don’t want any trouble, but I don’t want you to run from it, either. Since the dog incident, the McCrays are going to find a way to get even. They always do.”

  Quincy swung into the saddle. “We got it covered, Mom. Don’t worry.”

  Egan led Gypsy out of the stall.

  “Egan, I’d like a word with you.”

  He stilled. It was almost as if she knew.

  “Is it important? It’s a long ride and we need to get started.”

  “It’ll only take a minute.” His mother walked out of the barn and he had no recourse but to follow. He felt as if he was six years old and had broken the window in Grandpa’s house. “I’d like a word with you” was a saying she used that always meant trouble.

  She got right to the point. “When we returned last night, there was a white car parked at the barn. Since you were the only one home other than your grandpa and Jericho, I’m assuming someone came to see you.”

  “Yes.” He wasn’t going to be grilled.

  Her dark eyes stared into his and the memory of her coming to see him in the prison, with that shattered look on her face, suddenly hit him in the chest like a balled fist. He never again wanted to see her wearing that expression.

  “It was Rachel Hollister.” She probably already knew that, but he wasn’t going to lie. He’d outgrown that a long time ago.

  She shook her head. “Son, please don’t get involved with the Hollisters.”

  “You don’t have to worry. Ms. Hollister came to say thank-you and she won’t be coming back.”

  His mom reached up and patted his cheek. “She knows a good thing when she sees it, but my handsome son is not for her.”