Texas Rebels--Paxton Read online

  With a long sigh, he removed his hat and placed it on the dresser. His belt and gold buckle followed. He pulled off his boots and fell onto the bed, hoping the darkness would claim him and that when he woke up this would all be a bad dream.

  * * *

  REMI WASN’T DOING WELL, but she would never let it show. Her parents wanted her to come home for a few days, like they always did when Remi had a crisis. Her dad had removed all the baby things from her apartment and she was grateful for that. But this time she had to handle the crisis alone because she had caused it. Every night she cried herself to sleep, holding Paxton’s pillow. She had to get a grip and soon, or depression would claim her. Annie was lost to her forever. And so was Paxton. She had to accept that.

  Her mornings were busy with therapy, but the afternoons were lonely and she needed to find something to do during that time. She bought a bicycle and rode it around the city’s trails for hours. Her legs were getting stronger and stronger.

  Her dad stopped by one day, which was unexpected since she’d told her parents that she would call if she needed them. They sat in the living room.

  “You look good,” her dad said.

  “I bought a bike and I’ve been riding it all over Houston.”

  “Now, sweetheart, I don’t mean to interfere, but be careful where you go.”

  “Don’t worry. I am.”

  He scooted forward on the sofa. “I came over here with a suggestion and, once again, I don’t mean to interfere in your life. I just think you need something to occupy your time.”

  She wasn’t annoyed because she knew her parents loved her. She just hoped the suggestion wasn’t to call Paxton. “What is it?”

  “We have so many elderly patients in the hospital who come from nursing homes around Houston with a broken hip or knee or arm or something and they have no family to visit them. Usually their children live far away or just don’t care. We have volunteers to help with this and I was hoping that you might like to volunteer. It’s easy. You just go into the room and ask if they need anything. Some elderly people just like to talk, others like to be read to and others just like to see a smiling face. The hospital tries to do all they can to cheer them up because it helps in their recovery.”

  Remi couldn’t imagine anyone not visiting their grandparents in the hospital. She talked to Gran almost every day and she would continue to do so. She planned to go on the weekend to see her and her parents were going, too, but in separate vehicles. Remi planned to stay a little longer.

  “I’d like that, but I can only work in the afternoons.”

  “No problem. Just come over to the hospital and I’ll introduce you to Barbara Sayers. You can pick your hours.”

  She smiled at her father. “Now will you stop worrying about me? I’m fine, Dad. Really.” And Paxton would bite her finger if he was here. When would she stop thinking about him?

  “You loved him so much. Your mother and I worry.”

  “I know. And now I’ll be busier than ever.”

  Her dad rubbed his hands together and she knew he was fighting to hold words in. “You know, sweetheart, it doesn’t matter to some men—”

  “Dad, we’re not having this discussion.” She stopped him before he could go any further. No one understood her decision, including Gran. But she had to give Paxton a chance to find someone else. It was the right thing to do. She kept telling herself that day after day.

  Her dad left, and Remi was once again alone in an apartment that had Paxton’s memory everywhere. She could move to another apartment, but that wouldn’t solve the problem. Paxton was in her heart and always would be. She had to cowboy-up, as she’d heard Paxton say, and keep busy and keep going. That was all she could do now.

  * * *

  IN OKLAHOMA PAXTON couldn’t get Remi out of his mind and it was throwing him off his game. When he rode bulls, he could shut out the world. But he couldn’t shut out her face. It was right there, every time. And he found himself eating dirt instead of staying on the bull eight seconds. It happened three times and he couldn’t seem to hit his stride. The younger guys were kicking his butt.

  As they moved on to Jasper, Texas, Paxton knew his friends wanted to say something, but they kept quiet. As they got ready to go to the arena, they broke the silence.

  Cole scratched his head. “Pax, you’ve dropped out of the standings with your performance last night. You have to get her out of your head or you’re going to lose the whole season. As a friend, I’m telling you, you have to do something.”

  “Yeah, Pax, don’t let a girl ruin your season,” Dakota added.

  He’d told his friends about what had happened, and they cared about him, but he wished they’d stay out of his business. He had screwed up and he already knew that. A reminder he didn’t need.

  “I’m working on it,” he replied. “Now let’s go over to the arena.”

  Just then the door of the trailer opened and Phoenix and Elias stepped in. Cole and Dakota slithered out the door like two backstabbing rattlesnakes.

  “What are y’all doing here?”

  Opening the small refrigerator, Elias asked, “Got any beer?” He pulled out a can before Paxton could reply and popped the top.

  “We’re not here for beer, Elias,” Phoenix said, taking a seat on the sofa. Elias joined him, and Paxton stared at his two brothers. He knew why they were here. He was blowing his career, and they had something to say about it.

  “Why are y’all here?” Paxton asked anyway.

  “I’m sorry about what happened,” Phoenix said. “Miss Bertie told Mom and I know how much you loved Remi. But you can’t let this ruin your career.”

  “Yeah.” Elias joined the conversation. “I work my butt off on the ranch doing your share of the work and when you don’t win money that means no money is coming into the ranch account. Nada. Nothing.”

  Phoenix frowned at Elias. “Just let me do the talking.”

  Elias shrugged. “Just saying.”

  Paxton sat in the table booth. “You don’t have to tell me that, Elias. I’m smart enough to figure that one out myself.”

  Phoenix twirled his hat in his hands. “You were with me when I went through all that angst with Rosie. She let the Rebel/McCray feud come between us and said we could never be happy. I loved her and I wasn’t going to give up. I waited and waited. You sat with me in the chapel as I waited. Remember?”

  Paxton nodded, remembering his brother’s pain.

  “That’s what you have to do now. Give her time and she’ll come around. In the meantime you need to do some thinking about what you want. Do you want children? You never seemed that fond of them.”

  “I wanted that little girl just as much as she did,” he said without pausing. “I want Remi to understand that I’m hurting, too, but I can’t get through to her.”

  “That’s what time is for, Pax.” Phoenix studied his hat. “You know, you were really down after the finals last year. You were upset about what had happened with Jenny and Lisa and you didn’t feel good about yourself, so you and Elias drank yourselves silly. Didn’t solve anything. You were still conflicted about your future. You took some time off in January to get your mind clear and then you met Remi and you changed overnight. None of us recognized you, helping Miss Bertie and being an all-around good guy.” Phoenix raised his eyes to Paxton’s. “Now don’t get angry, but I think Remi is your redemption.”

  He wasn’t angry. He already knew. Tapping his fingers on the table, he replied, “You’re right. She is my redemption. She makes me a better person. A better man.”

  “Ye gads,” Elias muttered. “I’m gonna barf in my beer. Cowboys don’t talk like that. What’s happened to you?”

  “It’s called love,” Phoenix told Elias. “You just wait. Your day is coming and Paxton and I are going to laugh and laugh an
d laugh our heads off.”

  Elias shook his head. “It’ll never happen. I’ll never let a woman have that much control over me.”

  “Just be quiet, Elias.” Phoenix turned back to Paxton. “I don’t know if I told you, but Rosie might not be able to conceive another child because her ex beat her so bad and she had a lot of internal injuries, and an ovary removed. I told her if we can’t get pregnant, then we’ll adopt. Did you mention adopting again to Remi?”

  “I did, and she said I could have my own and she wouldn’t take that away from me. She wouldn’t listen to anything I had to say.”

  “A true McCray,” Elias murmured under his breath.

  Paxton jumped to his feet and pointed a finger at Elias. “Don’t you say a word about Remi or I’ll put your lights out.”

  Elias placed his beer on the floor and stood slowly, his eyes trained on Paxton. His brother was tall and muscled but that didn’t bother Paxton. He’d take him on any day of the week, especially if he said one more thing about Remi.

  Elias poked a finger into Paxton’s chest. “You’re gonna put my lights out?”

  “Stop this,” Phoenix intervened, but his brothers weren’t listening.

  “Yeah,” Paxton replied.

  Elias got up in Paxton’s face. “Come on, then.”

  Before Paxton knew it, his right fist connected with Elias’s jaw and Elias went flying backward onto the sofa, knocking Phoenix’s hat to the floor. He was winded only for a second before he bolted up and came after Paxton. He charged like a bull and they went flying backward into the bedroom. The trailer shook from the assault. They flipped over the bed and landed between the bed and the wall, which was a very small space. Elias was on the bottom and Paxton was on top. He rolled to the bed and reached out his arm to Elias, who he pulled onto the bed with him.

  Elias rubbed his jaw. “I think you broke it. Who knew you were that strong?”

  “You knocked the breath out of me.” Paxton sucked air into his lungs and then all of a sudden he started laughing.

  “What’s so funny?” Phoenix asked from the doorway.

  “We’re fighting like kids, like we used to do on the ranch. But we’re adults now and we need to start acting like it.”

  Phoenix looked at Elias. “I don’t think he’s ever going to make the transformation. Fighting is in his blood.”

  “Hey.” Elias was still nursing his jaw. “A good fight gets rid of a lot of tension.”

  Paxton scooted to sit on the side of the bed. “You know, he’s right. I had this ball right here—” he put his hand on his heart “—it was pressing into my chest and sometimes I found it hard to breathe. But now, it’s gone.” He took a long breath. “Remi wouldn’t want me to throw my career away. I have to ride for her. I can focus now. I got it under control. Thanks, brothers.”

  Elias sat up. “Brothers? Phoenix didn’t do a thing.”

  “Give it a rest, Elias,” Phoenix said.

  Paxton and Elias stood up, face-to-face, and without either of them thinking about it, they hugged. His family had his back when he was down and when he was up. There was nothing like family.

  * * *

  REMI WAS BUSIER than ever volunteering at the hospital. It took up a lot of her time and she found she enjoyed it. The elderly were much like children, but they tended to be grouchy, rude and opinionated.

  Mrs. Dixon was ninety years old and she had smoked all her life. She had two children who lived up north and she rarely saw them. Diagnosed with lung cancer, she refused to let the doctors operate on her. She was on oxygen and spent most of her days begging for cigarettes.

  Remi knocked on the door and went into the room.

  Mrs. Dixon sat up in bed, oxygen tubing in her nose. “You got a cigarette, dearie?” She talked with a wheeze.

  “You know you can’t have a cigarette. You’re on oxygen.”

  “The lady at the home always brought me one. She’d take me outside and let me smoke. I don’t know why you can’t do the same. A young thing like you can get a cigarette off anybody.”

  The lady was persistent and she didn’t know quite how to explain it to her any other way, but she thought she might have a solution to the problem. She reached into her pink jacket and pulled out some nicotine gum. “This gum has nicotine in it and you might enjoy chewing it. It might offer you some relief. The nurse said you still have your own teeth so it shouldn’t be too hard.” She checked with the nurse always before she offered the patients anything.

  “Gum? I want a cigarette. If you don’t have one, then get out of my room.”

  Remi laid the gum on the nightstand and walked out. Some days were like that, but others were very rewarding. She went down the hall to Mr. Schaeffer’s room. He was eighty-eight years old and had broken his ankle. His room was always full of family and kids. Today two of his daughters and their grown children were in the room.

  “Good afternoon,” Remi said. “I just dropped by to give Mr. Schaeffer the TV schedule for the hospital TV. He asked for it this morning.”

  “Thank you,” Mr. Schaeffer said, taking the paper from her.

  “That’s so sweet,” one of the daughters said. She hugged her dad. “I think they’re spoiling you here.” There were quick hugs and kisses and suddenly the room emptied.

  Mr. Schaeffer scooted up in the bed. “It’s like a whirlwind. That’s what my wife used to say. They come and then they’re gone.”

  “But it’s nice to have such a big family.” Remi looked at all the family photos on his nightstand.

  “Yeah. But it’s not the same without my wife.”

  “I’m sorry.” Then she told him about her gran and her grandpa and he listened avidly. He talked about the olden times and how hard it was and she listened with an open heart and open mind. He really just wanted someone to listen, like most older people.

  Her last visit for the day was with Mrs. Ashbury. She’d fallen and broken her hip. She didn’t come from one of the nursing homes, Barbara had said. She wanted Remi to check in with the woman because her husband was becoming a nuisance to the nurses.

  She knocked on the door and went in. An elderly distinguished-looking gentleman stood on the far side of the bed, but as soon as he saw Remi he quickly came to the other side, blocking Remi from his wife.

  “Can I help you, dear?” he asked.

  “I’m Remi Roberts and I’m a volunteer here at the hospital. I came to see if Mrs. Ashbury needed anything.”

  The man shook his snow-white head. “No, she doesn’t need anything. I’m always here to take care of her.”

  Remi saw something move beneath the blanket and sheet. It traveled from the foot of the bed up to Mrs. Ashbury, who Remi still couldn’t see.

  “Give it up, Alfred,” the woman in the bed said. “I think she already knows.”

  Mr. Ashbury stepped aside, and Remi saw a white poodle’s head poking out from the sheet, curled into Mrs. Ashbury.

  “This is Baby,” Mrs. Ashbury said. “She misses me so Alfred brings her to visit and we’re afraid the nurses might object.” The woman wore a lacy pink bed jacket and diamonds flashed on her fingers. Usually the hospital requested that all jewelry be removed. The lady was as distinguished as her husband.

  Remi reached over and petted the dog’s head. “I have a dog and her name is Sadie.”

  “I’m going home tomorrow so the nurses shouldn’t mind, should they?”

  Remi was going to leave that up to the nurses. For no reason would she tell them they couldn’t keep their dog in the room. That was just her opinion. “I’ll talk to them.”

  The man took a seat. “Are you in high school? Do you volunteer when you’re out of class?”

  Good heavens! Did she look that young?

  “I’ve been out of high school for a long time. I’m
a pre-K teacher.”

  “Isn’t that nice, Alfred?”

  “Yes, Maude. That’s real nice. Wish they had teachers like her when I was in school.”

  “Alfred!” She turned to Remi. “He’s a cad. He always has been.”

  “How long have you been married?”

  “Sixty-two years.”

  “Oh, how wonderful. Congratulations! Not many people stay together that long.”

  Alfred got up and came to the bed and took Maude’s hand. “It’s been a good life.”

  “How many children do you have?”

  “None,” Mrs. Ashbury replied. “It’s always been just me and Alfred.”

  Remi didn’t want to appear nosy, but she had to ask. “Did you want children?”

  Mrs. Ashbury stroked Alfred’s hand. “In the beginning we thought we might have a child, but then we found out Alfred has a low sperm count. He offered me a divorce and I told him where he could stick that. I loved him too much and I would never give him up. He’s a retired colonel in the army and we’ve traveled all over the world. I couldn’t have done that with children. Today we’re content. We have no regrets.” She glanced at her husband. “Right, honey?”

  “Right.”

  The poodle whimpered and Mrs. Ashbury lifted the dog into the crook of her arm. Remi soon left, but the image of the two elderly lovebirds stuck with her for some time. She didn’t cry herself to sleep that night. There was nothing left to cry about. She had made a decision and she had to stick to it. But doubts were beginning to leak through her defenses.

  * * *

  PAXTON GOT HIS rhythm back and no one was happier about it than him. But he was still behind in the national standings. Barron was at the top and then Goodready, Haaz and Hightower. Barron was already projected to win in Vegas. Paxton still had some fight left in him and he was going to make it very hard for the kid. Since the young guys were at the top of the standings, the announcers were billing them as the young kids against the old guys. Paxton had a lot to prove.

  During June, July and August they were into the heavy rodeo season. They’d crisscrossed the country to catch every important rodeo to build their points. Remi’s birthday was coming up and he wanted to go home for that and he didn’t know why. She didn’t want to see him.