Son of Texas (Count on a Cop) Page 2

“Oh.” That was unusual. He was the one who did all the calling.

  “Yes.” Her hands clasped her cheeks. “I remembered something.”

  “Oh.” He took a seat on the wicker sofa, moving a green-and-white-flowered throw pillow out of the way. She’d been discovering little things—she loved chocolate and old movies, she knew how to work a computer and she liked the outdoors and exercise. She jogged five miles every morning. Every piece of information was building her personality and telling her who she was. But they didn’t have the full picture yet.

  “I remembered my name,” she said in excitement. “I remembered my name!”

  “What!” He was at a loss for words. This was big. This could help to place her back with her family.

  “Yes. I was sitting in the window seat when the storm blew through. With the thunder and lightning, my head started to throb and I remembered something from when I was two years old. I could feel my mom’s and dad’s presence, their warmth and their love. I was saying my name to my dad.”

  “What is it?” His voice was hoarse.

  “Joscelyn Marie Beckett. Everyone calls me Josie.”

  “Josie Marie Beckett.” He said the name slowly, trying it out, the feel and the taste of it.

  “Yes. Yes.” She clapped her hands. “That’s my name. I know it is.”

  He’d never seen her eyes so bright or her cheeks so flushed and he knew they were on the verge of finding her true identity, her family. He was happy about that. She’d been in limbo long enough, but a part of him was sad. This would be her first step away from him and he had to let her go. It was time.

  He knew this day was coming and he should be prepared, but he wasn’t. Still, he’d do what he had to. As a Texas Ranger he could do no less. He’d taken an oath to protect the people of Texas, and as a son of Texas he’d never break that oath.

  “I’ll run a background check right away. I should have more information on Joscelyn Beckett soon.” He got to his feet.

  “You’ll call as soon as you find out something.” A shadow crossed her face.

  “Yes.” He paused at her expression. “What is it?”

  She closed her eyes for a second. “I feel as if I’ve been in this deep, dark hole and I’ve suddenly glimpsed a sliver of light. But I’m afraid of the brightness and what it will reveal. Will it burn me? Will it scar me further? Maybe it’s safer to bury myself in the hole where I can’t be hurt again. After all, someone tried to kill me.”

  Walking to her, he looked into her troubled eyes. He was there when they brought her in with scars on her back from being beaten repeatedly. And he was there when the tests revealed a bullet in her head. After some investigation they determined that the people in the cult hadn’t shot her. Someone else had. He was with her through all those long weeks in the hospital when he didn’t think she’d ever make it back from the abuse she’d suffered. He was there to prepare her to testify against the cult members, but when the cult leader died, the others took a plea bargain. He was relieved that she wouldn’t have to go through a trial, but she’d been ready to do whatever was necessary to keep them behind bars. Belle Doe wasn’t a quitter. She was a fighter, a survivor—that’s why she was still alive.

  “You survived because you have more strength than anyone I’ve ever met. Whatever we find out about your life, you’ll be able to handle. There’s no doubt in my mind. The fear is just a part of it. You wouldn’t be human if you weren’t afraid of the unknown. We all are.”

  Her eyes glistened. “I don’t think you’re afraid of anything.”

  Losing you. He’d been afraid of that for a long time now, and it was happening. He’d handle it just as she would—with courage.

  “Ah, Belle. Don’t put me on a pedestal.”

  There was silence for a moment.

  “Give Dr. Oliver a call. She’ll be able to reassure you,” he finally said.

  She nodded, her eyes catching his. “I’ll never be able to thank you for everything you’ve done for me.”

  “Just be happy—that’s what I want for you.” He meant every word, even if that happiness wasn’t with him. “I better get going so I can make it happen.”

  “Caleb.” She stopped him.

  He turned to look at her and wished he hadn’t. Her sad eyes, her sweet face twisted his gut.

  “I’m sorry you got recruited for another escort job.”

  He grinned. “Oh. I’m looking forward to this. I want to see the fool who buys that hat.” He was being flippant, but it would be the last time that he’d go anywhere with Belle on his arm. She would soon become Josie—a completely different person.

  She grinned back. “It should be fun.”

  “It will be. We’ll dance the night away—probably the last time that I’ll be able to call you Belle.”

  A pregnant pause followed his words; and emotions they’d been denying simmered close to the surface.

  “You can always call me Belle. Right now Josie doesn’t seem quite right.”

  “But it will.” They both knew that and they both were feeling that pang of change.

  “Maybe.” Her eyes held his. “You’ll call as soon as you find out something?”

  “Yes, and try not to worry.” He turned and walked out before his strength gave way.

  Outside he took a long breath. Josie Marie Beckett. Who are you? Do you have a husband, a lover waiting for you? Those two questions were uppermost in his mind and he hated himself for that selfish reaction. He got in his car and headed for his office to find out the truth about Belle, putting his emotions aside and concentrating on her and her future.

  He just wished he could get rid of the knot in his stomach, a knot that told him he was about to lose everything he’d ever wanted. But he would deal with it like a man—the man she wanted him to be. If he preached to himself long enough and hard enough, he might be able to pull it off.

  BELLE IMMEDIATELY CALLED Dr. Oliver and told her about the memory. As Caleb had said, Dr. Oliver reassured her and Belle felt better knowing that finally her memory was returning. She held her name in her heart like a sacred pledge, so afraid it was going to slip away like the rest of her memories. Although she had told Caleb, and he’d make sure her future would now unfold.

  She would face the light and the fears inside her. It was long overdue. Someone had put a bullet in her head and left her on the streets of Austin to die. Who had caused her all this misery? And who had hated her that much? No matter how hard it would be, Caleb would help her find the truth. It was time to stop being afraid and embrace her life—whatever it had been.

  She knew she was a good person and made friends easily. Caroline Coltrane, the wife of Eli, the ranger who’d rescued her, was a very good friend, and her sister, Grace, was, too. They met for lunch every now and then and Belle enjoyed their company and their friendship. She wondered what type of friends she had in her old life. Belle was beginning to drive herself crazy with all the wondering, so she went in search of Ms. Gertie. After all, she did have a job. Some days that was hard to remember because Ms. Gertie tended to pamper her. But she wasn’t an invalid and she’d made that plain from the start.

  She found Gertie in the pool, floating and relaxing. Harry paddled around entertaining her. Prissy and Prudy lay on the tiled floor watching, but not daring to get in the water. The pool and the hot tub were enclosed, so Gertie swam daily year-round.

  “Do you need me to do anything, Ms. Gertie?” she asked.

  Instead of responding, she answered with a question. “Did you have a nice visit with Caleb?”

  “Yes.” She sat in a pool chair and Prissy jumped onto her lap. She stroked the cat for a moment, listening to her purr. “I wasn’t aware you’d called him to be our escort for tomorrow night.”

  “If I’d told you, you would have said not to bother him. But it’s unseemly for a woman to attend functions without a male escort.” She paused, splashing water on Harry. “And I’ve seen the way you look at him.”

  Belle shif
ted uncomfortably. “Ms. Gertie, you know I can’t get involved with anyone. I don’t know who I am and that would be so unfair to Caleb.”

  “Oh, Belle, darlin’. That doesn’t keep the heart from getting involved.”

  She knew that all too well. But now that she knew her name, her feelings would change. Wouldn’t they? That’s what she’d learned in her sessions. Though her feelings for Caleb seemed strong now, once her memory fully returned those emotions would lose their strength. Her feelings for Caleb were based on her fears and insecurities. He was her security blanket.

  In her mind, she recognized the logic of that. In her heart she wasn’t so sure. Caleb, with his kind and gentle ways, was a part of her. She knew his smile, that crooked grin and the way his brows knitted together when he was deep in thought. But most of all she knew his voice—that deep soothing tone that had brought her so much comfort. And his touch. For so long she jumped if anyone touched her.

  Slowly and surely Caleb’s gentle touch had shown her that not all people were bad. Caleb was good to the core and she couldn’t imagine loving anyone the way she loved him. But that was her private secret. She had no right to love Caleb or to give him hope that one day there could be a future for them. Until she regained her memory, she had no future.

  But now she had a name. In a few hours Caleb might be able to tell her where she was from, if she had a family, a husband. The thought ran through her with anticipation and dread. Once she found that out, Caleb would become a part of her past and she wasn’t ready to let go—not of Caleb.

  She was smart enough to realize that everything Dr. Oliver had cautioned her about was true. Her attachment to Caleb was hindering her memory recall. She had to let go and allow herself to remember. She wasn’t in love with Caleb, she only thought she was. How many times would she have to say that to herself before she believed it?

  “Belle, grab Harry. He’s getting tired.” Ms. Gertie’s voice penetrated her thoughts and she jumped up, Prissy growling at the interruption of her sleep. Belle grabbed a towel and gathered Harry into her arms, drying him thoroughly.

  When she put him down, she knew exactly what he was going to do. He shook his whole body, splattering her with remnants of water.

  “Harry,” she scolded, but laughed at his anguished expression. She picked him up and rubbed him again until he was panting with delight.

  “I better get out. I have a dozen phone calls to make.”

  “Is there anything I can do?” Belle asked again.

  “Yes. Make sure Martha has that canary locked in the dining room. I don’t want the girls having a feast of him tonight.”

  “The girls never leave your bed.” Gertie called the cats her girls and she treated them as such, too.

  “Oh, but temptation is sometimes too great.” Gertie stepped out and wrapped a towel around herself. “Think about that, Belle. Sometimes it’s good to give in to temptation.”

  “Ms. Gertie.” She was shocked.

  “I’m not talking about the girls. I’m talking about Caleb.”

  “Ms. Gertie!” She was even more shocked.

  “I’m going to change, then I’ll be in my study.” She walked off, not saying another word, the animals marching behind her.

  Belle went to check on the canary, trying to ignore the message behind Gertie’s words. She knew how Belle felt about Caleb. Everybody probably did, but Caleb. And she never wanted him to know. It would only complicate things.

  CALEB SPENT THE AFTERNOON searching for every piece of information he could on Joscelyn Marie Beckett. Before long, he knew a lot about her. She was born in Corpus Christi, Texas to Brett and Marie Beckett. She attended school in Corpus and went on to Texas A&M at Corpus and eventually became a police officer. A police officer! That threw him and angered him. How could a police officer disappear without anyone knowing? But it would explain her strength and courage.

  He forced himself to continue. Later, she was on the police force in Beckett, Texas. Caleb had heard of the town, but looked it up on the map to get the exact location. South Texas—between Corpus Christi and Laredo.

  None of this was making sense. She was a police officer and no one had reported her missing. And no one had answered the ads asking for information about her that were plastered in all the big newspapers. Why?

  A little more checking and he discovered she’d never been married. That was a relief for now, but Belle had a whole life out there that didn’t include him. He shoved the thought aside. Her parents were dead, killed in an auto accident and she had a grandfather who lived in Beckett. Even Caleb had heard of Boone Beckett and the Silver Spur Ranch. Cattle and oil wells made Boone a formidable figure in Texas, especially when it came to politics. His backing could almost guarantee a win.

  So why hadn’t a man like Beckett searched for his granddaughter? There were so many unanswered questions and he knew the only way to find the answers was to go to Beckett, Texas.

  First, he had to talk to Belle. It wasn’t going to be easy to explain that her parents were dead. Or that her grandfather hadn’t cared enough to report her missing.

  He grabbed his hat, knowing he had to be honest with her, but he wasn’t looking forward to the conversation.

  CHAPTER TWO

  BEFORE CALEB DID ANYTHING, he called Dr. Oliver and she asked him to come to her office. He was glad to do so. He didn’t want to do anything to impede the return of Belle’s memory.

  “Howdy, ma’am.” Caleb placed copies of the information he learned about Belle on Dr. Oliver’s mahogany desk. Removing his hat, he took a seat across from her. The room was done in soothing pastels, and calming water sounds played softly in the background.

  “Ranger McCain, I’m glad you took the time to come by and bring the information,” Dr. Oliver replied. Somewhere in her fifties, Dr. Oliver’s hair was short and completely gray and she spoke as softly as the sounds wafting from the intercom.

  “We’ve been waiting for this and I wanted you to have all the details.”

  “Thank you. Remembering her name is very good, but it is only the start.”

  “So how much information should I give her?”

  Dr. Oliver flipped through the papers. “Tell her the basics. Ask questions and let her fill in the blanks. No pressure. If she asks a question, answer as little as you can. Let her strive for the complete picture.”

  “Okay.”

  Dr. Oliver continued to read through the papers. “A police officer? Never would have guessed that, but she’s very independent and strong, so that fits.” She looked up, her eyes thoughtful. “And no one reported her missing. That’s a puzzle. When you feed her this information, do it slowly.”

  His eyes narrowed. “Do you think it’s wise to tell her any of this?”

  Dr. Oliver looked at him over the rim of her glasses. “Ranger McCain, we’re not keeping secrets from her, but with a little coaxing I’m hoping she’ll remember it on her own.”

  “I see.” He leaned forward. “Do you think going back to Beckett would be good for her?”

  Dr. Oliver folded her hands. “In my opinion, it would be very good for Belle to be around familiar sights and sounds. That might be the stimulus she needs for a full recovery. There is no such thing as a quick fix when it comes to healing from trauma, but Belle has made remarkable strides. She’s established a healthy lifestyle and she functions very well. She’s strong enough to cope with integrating the present and memories of the traumas with her other memories, as they reveal themselves.”

  Caleb ran his thumb along the rim of his white Stetson. “I hear a ‘but’ in your voice.”

  “I’m going to be straightforward.”

  “Please do.”

  “We’ve talked about this before.”

  He knew what was coming—Belle’s attachment to him.

  “Belle’s emotional state is very fragile. She trusts and leans on you, and in the beginning that was very good because she’d lost all trust in people. From the fragments she recalled
while in the hospital, we’ve ascertained there is a man in her life. Once her whole memory returns she won’t need to lean on you. She’ll become a fully functioning person again with an old life and a new life. If she’s torn about hurting you, it will make things very difficult for her. And I know you want the transition to go smoothly and for Belle to recover without any guilty feelings over misleading you.”

  He stood and held his hat in his hand. “I’d be lying if I said I didn’t care for Belle, but everything I do I do with her best interest in mind.”

  Dr. Oliver stood also. “I know. That’s why I haven’t asked you to back away from her. You’ve been good for Belle and you’re probably the reason she’s recovered so well. But the day is coming when she won’t need you. Don’t make her feel guilty about that. It could compromise her full recovery.”

  “I would never do anything to compromise her recovery.” He placed his hat on his head. “Any advice on what to expect?”

  “She’ll continue to have headaches, some severe, confusion and some dizziness. Just be patient and let everything happen naturally. Bits and pieces of her life may come back gradually, like this morning, or she could be flooded with memories all at once. Other times, she may not be aware she’s remembering. The information will just come out in something she says. I have an appointment with Belle in the morning and we’ll thoroughly go over the details, but she’s read so much and studied PTSD that she’s well aware of what’s happening. She’s become so strong, a pale comparison to the shell of a woman I first saw in the hospital. I have no doubt she’ll overcome all of this.”

  He lifted an eyebrow. “I hear another ‘but.’”

  “Memory loss related to traumatic experiences may serve as a protective function. If Belle feels a strong secure attachment in the present she may never allow herself to remember.”

  He swallowed. “So make it clear that we are only friends?”

  Dr. Oliver nodded. “Yes. That would help her tremendously. She may not realize it now, but she will later.”

  How will he feel later? Hurt and alone. But he’d known that from the start and he wouldn’t change anything he’d done for Belle.