The Right Woman Page 22

  Gran looked thoughtful—not at all upset. “You know Gladys moved into a retirement villa last month. Opal is already there. It’s a very nice place with separate apartments and access to a pool and all kinds of recreational activities.”

  Sarah pulled back. “You mean, you want to move into the villa with your friends?”

  “Yes. I think I’d like that.”

  “I thought we’d live together.” Try as she might, she couldn’t keep the hurt out of her voice.

  Aurora reached for Sarah’s hand. “Darling, you’ll be making your own life with Daniel and I’ll be happier out of your way and with my friends.”

  “You won’t be in the way,” Sarah disputed, then quickly asked, “How do you know about Daniel?” She hadn’t mentioned a word about her personal relationship with Daniel.

  “I’m not completely deaf. I hear what’s going on and even at my age it’s not hard to figure out how he feels about you.”

  “Daniel is suffering and I’m not sure about the future.”

  Aurora squeezed her hand. “I am. Your future is with Daniel. He may not realize it just yet, but he will. Now I’m going to call Gladys and get the details on that villa.”

  Words died on her lips as Gran hurried away, excited as a child with a new toy. Sarah never dreamed the discussion would go like this—so easy. She put the ice cream back in the freezer and wondered where Daniel was. Maybe with his parents. Maybe at the station. Most likely somewhere alone letting the pain control him. Daniel, please, let me help you.

  DANIEL AWOKE TO A pounding headache as all the pain came flooding back, drowning him in a sea of misery. He gave in to it for a few minutes then got up, showered and dressed. He was at his parents’ within thirty minutes. His mother and father were in the sunroom having breakfast. Muriel was better and was planning Drew’s memorial. His father’s eyes were bloodshot and he was gulping down coffee.

  “I’m glad you’re here, Daniel,” Muriel said. “Reverend McFee will be here shortly. Is there anything you’d like said at the service?”

  “No. I want to get this over with as quickly and easily as possible.”

  “My sentiments exactly,” Dan said.

  “How could this happen to my baby?” Muriel cried, tears streaming down her face. Esther, the maid, handed her a fresh handkerchief and she dabbed at her eyes.

  “Would you like anything, sir?” Esther asked Daniel.

  “Coffee, please,” he replied.

  “Muriel, don’t cry anymore,” Daniel’s father barked.

  “I’m not as strong as you.”

  “You’re the one that always wanted to put him in a home somewhere,” he told her. “I wanted him with us.”

  “Blame me, Dan, if it makes you feel better. Blame me for everything that’s happened with Drew, but I didn’t know how to care for him in his condition. He needed professional help.”

  “You didn’t care for either of our sons when they were small. You left their care to nannies to follow me around the country afraid I might sleep with another woman and, believe me, it’s crossed my mind more than once.”

  Muriel sobbed into the handkerchief.

  Daniel’s nerves were close to the breaking point. He didn’t know how to deal with two people he felt he barely knew. He’d always seen his parents through the eyes of a child and now he had to see them as an adult, with all their faults. He’d always wanted different parents, parents like he saw on TV, with a mother that cooked and took her children to school and a father who played baseball in the backyard and helped his sons build go-carts or hot rods. His home life was nothing like that. It was reminiscent of the scene he was witnessing now, with his parents more involved with each other’s faults than in their children or creating a loving atmosphere. Today he didn’t want to listen to it.

  Esther handed him a cup of coffee and he took a couple of sips. “There’s enough blame to go around so let’s try to get through this the best that we can.” He placed the cup on the table. “I’ll be back later.”

  Muriel sat forward. “Where are you going? I need you here.”

  I needed you for so many years that I’ve forgotten the feeling, Daniel thought, but he didn’t say the words. His mother was hurt enough and he couldn’t inflict any more pain.

  “I’ve got guys in the hospital I have to check on.”

  “Why you have to do this cop thing I don’t know. It’s only brought pain and misery. Can’t you see that?”

  “Yes, Mother, I see it very clearly.”

  “Why don’t you alienate the only son we have left?” Dan spat. “I need a drink.” His father headed for the bar in the den and Daniel left.

  He went to the hospital then the police station. He wanted to get the things off his desk. After the service, he wouldn’t be going back. His career as a cop was over—he’d accepted that and Bill would have to, as well.

  Everyone stopped what they were doing when he walked into the room, then Will and Kevin came forward to shake his hand, to offer their condolences. Jack and Lee came next and several other officers. Daniel didn’t know what to say so he mumbled a quick “Thank you” and hurried to his desk.

  He sat because his legs were shaky. He’d come here for a reason. Now he couldn’t remember it.

  Russ walked up and plopped some papers in front of him.

  “What’s that?”

  “Sarah’s statement. Thought you might like to read it.”

  He picked up the paper and started to read. His whole body began to tremble as he read her words and through the cobwebs of pain his fear for her became a palpable thing he could feel again. Oh, God, no, no, no. He rose to his feet and tore toward the door.

  “Daniel…” Russ called, but Daniel kept walking. He had to see her.

  SARAH CAME IN FROM WORK feeling exhausted. She’d spent the morning with Karen, playing catch-up with clients that she hadn’t seen and spending time with those that needed her.

  Gran wasn’t home. She’d gone to visit Gladys at the villa then she had a bridge game. Sarah would give her a few days to see if moving close to her friends was what she really wanted before putting the house on the market.

  She got bottled water out of the refrigerator and thought about calling Daniel. She had all his numbers, but she wanted to give him the time he needed. Time to…she reached for the phone as the doorbell rang.

  Something about the doorbell ringing when she was alone unnerved her, but she went to answer it. First she looked through the peephole and her heart rate accelerated. She opened the door quickly.

  “Can we talk?” Daniel asked.

  “Yes,” she answered without hesitation, noting that he’d shaved and cleaned up. But what she noticed most was that his eyes weren’t so glazed over with pain.

  She followed him into the living room. “Did you have the doctor check you over?”

  “Yes. The lieutenant insisted. My neck is bruised, but I’m fine.”

  “Good.”

  He turned to face her. “I’m not sure where to start.” He looked more nervous than she’d ever seen him.

  She sat on the sofa. “Start anywhere you want to.”

  “I just read your statement,” he blurted out. “When I broke the door in and saw Claude with his arm around your neck, I think I stopped feeling at that moment. My goal was to get you out of there alive, but I was aware that you had only a bra and jeans on. That wasn’t my main concern, though, then Drew died and I felt as if I was detached from everything and I couldn’t quite make the connection to bring me back. I’ve been so angry, disillusioned and hurt.” He paused. “When I read what happened before I got there, I could feel myself coming back from that awful place and the fear I had for you was renewed. I’m sorry you had to see Claude shoot Chad, Ron and Drew, then…then he made you strip. I’m so sorry you had to go through all that again.”

  “You gave me the strength to survive.”

  “What?”

  “If Claude killed me, you wouldn’t know what happe
ned to Drew. I had to stay alive any way I could.”

  “My God.” He closed his eyes briefly.

  “When he shot Drew, I thought I’d fall apart. I had this déjà vu feeling and I fought it.”

  “I don’t know how.”

  “That night we were together was all I could think about. Claude kept talking about how he used to watch me strip at Teasers and how there was no one to stop him from taking what he wanted. I knew I had to stay alive until you came and the only way to do that was to stall. He wanted to touch me…”

  “Oh, God,” Daniel groaned.

  “It’s all right, Daniel,” she said in a strong voice. “I’m all right. I said he couldn’t touch me until I took all my clothes off and he was so hyped up he agreed. I didn’t intend to remove all my clothes. I just wanted to catch him off guard so I could get away, but then we heard the sirens and he knew he’d been caught.”

  Daniel eased down beside her. “I’m sorry I got you involved in this.”

  She raised an eyebrow. “How did you get me involved in this?”

  “By pressuring you to testify against Boyd. By telling you it was the right thing to do.”

  She turned sideways to face him. “It was the right thing to do.”

  “How can you say that? Look at the terror you’ve been put through.”

  She scooted closer. “Daniel, listen to me.”

  He looked down at his hands.

  “Look at me, please.” He turned tortured eyes to her. “You are not to blame for what happened. If anyone is to blame it’s Drew and me.”

  He frowned. “You?”

  “Yes. I’m the one who convinced Greg to let me go with him to learn about the strippers. And Drew’s liaison with Boyd has culminated into the events of the past week. You had nothing to do with any of that. You’re just the nice cop that has always been there for both of us.”

  “I’m not so nice.”

  She scooted even closer, until her knees were touching him. He didn’t move away. “Yes, you are.”

  “I don’t feel nice. I feel as if I’ve taken advantage of you.”

  She tilted her head to one side, knowing exactly what he was talking about. “Really? I have only happy memories and I think we could use those right now.”

  Unable to stop herself, she slipped her arms around his waist and rested her body against him. He took a deep breath then wrapped his arms around her tightly, burying his face in her hair. “Help me, Sarah. I can’t deal with all this pain.”

  Her throat constricted painfully. “Talk to me. Tell me what you’re feeling.”

  For the next two hours Daniel poured out his heart. He told her about Drew, their childhood, their parents and about the discontentment in his work. Everything came out—even his feelings about her. Once he started, the words came fast and furious and Sarah listened with her heart.

  “A few days ago we had each other and the future was dazzling, but now all I see is an empty darkness ahead.”

  “That will change,” she promised.

  “I…”

  Gran came in and Daniel stopped.

  “Oh, Daniel,” Gran said in surprise. “I didn’t realize you were here.”

  Daniel stood. “Hello, Mrs. Farrell.”

  “Don’t mind me,” Aurora said. “I’m just going upstairs.”

  “That’s okay,” Daniel replied. “I should be going.”

  “You talk to Sarah. It’s what you both need.” She disappeared up the stairs.

  Daniel ran both hands through his hair. “I don’t have anything else to say. I’m empty.”

  Sarah got to her feet. “It’s normal to feel that way and you don’t have to promise me anything or feel guilty because you can’t. Just keep talking to me is all I ask. Take each day at a time. Grieve for Drew, be there for your parents. That’s all that’s expected of you.”

  “My parents.” He sighed in frustration. “That’s a nightmare. Every time I’m in the room with them I want to scream.”

  “But you won’t.” She gave him a little smile.

  “You’re amazing.”

  “Thank you.”

  He touched her lips with his fingers. “Your kisses are happy memories.”

  “Yes,” she whispered.

  “I wish I could say we’d have them again, but I…”

  She placed her finger over his lips. “Remember? You don’t have to promise me anything.”

  He swallowed. “I’ll be rather busy the next few days dealing with my parents. After the memorial, I’m leaving town for a while. I have to put Dallas behind me, to find my perspective again.”

  Ask me to go with you.

  “Take all the time you need,” she said with every ounce of courage she possessed. “I’ll be waiting for you.”

  He looked deep into her eyes. “Don’t wait for me.”

  “I’ll wait forever.”

  “Sarah…”

  “For so long I’ve denied my feelings for you, but I’m very clear about what I want. Now you have to decide what you want. Do you want to spend the rest of your life wallowing in guilt and pain or do you want a life…with me. When you make up your mind, I’ll be here.”

  He slowly made his way to the door and Sarah resisted the urge to run after him. He had to find peace within himself before they could have a future. She’d wait forever if she had to, just as she’d said.

  Forever.

  THE DAYS THAT FOLLOWED weren’t easy but Daniel wasn’t pushing Sarah away and that was the most important thing. He called to tell her when and where the funeral was and she’d told him that she would be there. He’d said he’d like that.

  Serena and Ethan flew in for the service and they all went—even Gran. Muriel and Gran knew each other, having supported several of the same charities over the years.

  The Garretts had a crypt and the service was in a small chapel that was attached to the building. The place was full—most of the police department was there. Sarah was unprepared for the sight of Muriel and Dan. Muriel was impeccably dressed and accepting condolence graciously, but her eyes were filled with pain, as were Dan’s. They both looked as if they’d aged ten years.

  Sarah’s eyes were focused mainly on Daniel. He wore a dark suit and a look of torment. She wanted so badly to make all this better for him, but she couldn’t. Daniel had to find his own kind of peace.

  It was a closed casket and the service was short. They waited until everyone had spoken to the Garretts then they made their way to the front. Muriel’s tear-filled eyes grew big when she saw Sarah and Serena together. They both wore dark suits and their red hair was up.

  “Oh, my, Aurora,” Muriel said. “What beautiful granddaughters you have.”

  “I think so,” Gran answered, hugging Muriel and offering some consoling words.

  Muriel dabbed at her tears. “I’m afraid I don’t know which one is Sarah.”

  “I am,” Sarah said, also hugging Muriel, then Serena and Ethan followed.

  When Sarah reached Daniel, he took her elbow and led her to a small alcove.

  “How are you?” she asked, her heart in her eyes, wanting to hold him so bad her arms ached.

  “Trying to be strong for my parents,” he said, fighting back tears.

  She stroked his arm. “It’s okay to hurt and it’s okay to cry.”

  “Men don’t cry, Sarah.”

  Then what is that I see in your eyes? But he was trying to be the strong one in his family when he didn’t have any strength left.

  He took a long breath. “I wanted to let you know that my parents are leaving in the morning for France and I’m going with them. I hadn’t planned to, but I feel I need to be with them.”

  Ask me to go. Just ask.

  But again he didn’t.

  “Please understand that I have to go. I can’t stay here.”

  “I understand, Daniel,” she said. “Just try to find a way to forgive yourself.”

  He frowned. “What?”

  “That’s your pro
blem. You can’t forgive yourself for what happened to Drew.”

  “Yeah.” He blinked. “I hear what you’re saying yet I feel as if I’m floating, detached from everything. I’m not anchored and I can’t get beyond that feeling.”

  She reached for his hands and held them in front of her. “That’s normal. It takes time.”

  “Everyone keeps saying that.”

  “Because it’s true.” She kissed his knuckles. “When you’re thinking of Drew in the days ahead, think of his responses to everything you did for him and I think you’ll find that Drew was never very honest with you.”

  He said nothing.

  “You once told me that your major fault was that you wanted to help everyone. Sometimes that’s not possible.”

  They stared at each other for endless seconds then Daniel softly kissed her cheek and walked away.

  She held her hand to the spot he’d touched with his lips. She didn’t know if they’d ever have happy memories again but she prayed that wherever Daniel went that he’d find the peace he was looking for. Most of all, she prayed he’d find his way back to her.

  CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

  THE DAYS STRETCHED painfully for Daniel. He tried to fit in with his parents’ friends in Paris and found he couldn’t. He didn’t want to socialize—he wanted to be alone. Yvette didn’t understand. She was in her late twenties and she liked to party. Their parents had gone out for the evening and Daniel sat on the terrace nursing a glass of wine.

  Yvette pulled up a chair close to his. “Daniel.” He liked her accent. Sometimes it was soothing. “I know a really nice nightclub. We can make a night of it.” She wiggled in her chair. “I feel like dancing.”

  “Sorry, Yvette. I’m not really in the mood.”

  Her eyes grew dark. “What is it? Am I not attractive enough?”

  “You’re very attractive,” he told her.

  “Then why do you keep pushing me away?”

  He glanced at her blond hair and blue eyes and all he could see was Sarah.

  “Why, Daniel?” she persisted.

  “Your hair’s not red,” he said.