To Save a Child--A Clean Romance Page 21

  Much later, she hugged Mr. Walt and Cole and got in her car and drove away. And she had to wonder if she would ever return. So much was going on in her head—it seemed as if she had mountains to climb and roads to walk. Would they bring her back here, where she’d glimpsed a touch of happiness?

  * * *

  THE DAYS TURNED into another week, and Christmas grew near. Cole and Grandpa would do something to celebrate the day, but it wasn’t going to be in the barn. That time of his life was over. Grace had brought sunshine into his life, and he wished she could see the sunshine was waiting for her here, too, but the sadness was bringing her down. She’d seemed much better on his birthday and he’d wanted to talk to her, but with everyone around, he hadn’t gotten the chance.

  He came home one late afternoon to chaos. Grandpa had a wheelbarrow in the living room, and all of Jamie’s pictures were in it. The wall was bare, with faded spots where the pictures had been. The attic ladder was down, and boxes were stacked in the hallway. What was Grandpa up to? He was speechless.

  He cleared his throat. “Grandpa, what are you doing?”

  “I’m getting rid of this stuff. Jamie is dead and he’s never coming back and I don’t need any reminders. All my feelings for my son are in my heart. I don’t need to see his picture every day. It’s time to let Jamie rest in peace. And now that Cora is with him, I know he’s at peace.”

  Words failed him once again. All these years the photos had been on the walls, and now they weren’t. How would Cole live without Jamie’s shadow hanging over him?

  “Don’t just stand there. Come help me.”

  Cole hurried to do as asked. “Be very sure about this, Grandpa.”

  “I’m sure. I started a fire out back, and I’m going to burn all this stuff. Everything he has ever owned is here. His clothes, his toys, everything. I saved some things for you on the coffee table.”

  On the coffee table lay a pocketknife, an Aggie ring, a watch, a fifty-dollar gold piece, a key chain with Cole’s picture on it and a photo of a woman with dark eyes and dark hair in a silver frame. He picked up the picture and stared at it. It had to be his mother. He never realized she had dark eyes and dark hair. He must’ve said the words out loud because Grandpa replied, “Yes, she did. She was very beautiful.”

  Grandpa handed him a large manila envelope. “More pictures of your mom are in there. I saved them for you.”

  He sat on the coffee table and looked through the photos of a woman he didn’t know. His mother. She had long, long dark hair, almost down to her waist, and she was smiling in every picture. Some of them she was laughing into Cole’s dad’s eyes. “She looks happy.”

  “They were.”

  Cole got lost in the photos of the two people who had created him. A bit of sadness touched his heart. His hand rested on a photo. How he wished he had known her.

  His grandfather called him, and he helped carry everything out to the fire. Slowly they tossed things on the fire, picture frames and all. Grandpa didn’t want to save them. He was getting rid of all the bad memories. How he had come to this epiphany was a mystery to Cole. But it was something that should’ve been done years ago. Grandma just couldn’t handle living without the memories.

  They decided to leave Jamie’s baby bed. It was still good and senseless to burn. They kept the high chair, too. Zoe would need it when she came to visit, and Cole hoped that day was soon.

  The flames and smoke leaped toward the sky in a blaze of orange and black. The fire licked and gnawed its way to the sky, as if it were cleansing the place of bad spirits. Since everything was old, it burned quickly.

  They stood for a long time watching the smoke and flames. Cole took a water hose and watered down the grass around the fire, and it slowly died down. Jamie was gone, and just like that a heavy weight was lifted from Cole’s heart. The shadow was gone.

  They slowly made their way back to the house. “I bought steaks, and we can do them on the grill. I’ll show you how to use it.”

  “It’s about time.”

  Cole put potatoes in the oven and went into the living room to talk to Grandpa, who was sitting quietly in his chair.

  “You okay?”

  He waved a hand toward the walls. “Look at that. Now we’re going to have to repaint.”

  “We can do that in an afternoon.”

  “Let’s get it done before Christmas.”

  Grandpa seemed fine, but Cole worried this might be too much for him. They sat on the patio while they waited for the steaks to cook and talked. Leaves had piled up against the house, and Cole needed to get rid of them. There was lot to be done around the place. Time was a valuable commodity these days with his job. But he had to make time for his grandpa.

  “Your grandma loved you, you know?”

  Cole rubbed his hands together. “In a way, I guess she did. She was always trying to protect me.”

  “Yeah. She was always trying to protect Jamie, too. She just could never let go, and Jamie could never say no to her. He grew a backbone when he met Beth. He told her he was getting married, and she said no, he wasn’t old enough. The boy was twenty-two years old, and she said he wasn’t old enough. Can you imagine that? He said he was getting married and she couldn’t stop him. She cried and cried and said, ‘Walter, talk to him. He’s too young.’ I told her that she had to let go. He was in love, and he wasn’t going to change his mind.” Grandpa shook his head. “It was a difficult time when he brought Beth here to meet us. Cora didn’t like her, and she didn’t make any bones about it. Jamie was as mad as I’ve ever seen him. He went to his room, packed his clothes and told her if Beth wasn’t welcome here, he wasn’t, either. And he left. Cora cried and cried for days and begged me to call him. It just went on and on until I finally called Jamie and said we had to work this out.”

  Grandpa shivered.

  “Do you want me to get your jacket?” It was sixty degrees outside and getting cooler.

  “No. It just felt like a ghost whispered against my skin.”

  Cole wasn’t sure how that felt. “Maybe we better go inside.”

  “No. I want you to know how much your parents wanted you and how much they loved you. You were conceived in love. I want you to know there was love in every day of your life, even though it didn’t feel like it at times. I want you to know that.”

  Cole rubbed his hands together again, tears stinging his eyes. “I know that now, Grandpa. You don’t have to worry.”

  “I know I compare you a lot to Jamie, and I don’t mean anything bad by that. You’re his son, a part of him, but you got all that strong stuff from those other people.”

  Cole laughed. He couldn’t help himself. “Ah, Grandpa, I think I got a lot of those qualities from the man sitting across from me.”

  “Could be.” Grandpa shook his head and got to his feet. “But I’m a lot like Jamie. I could never say no to your grandma.” He touched Cole’s shoulder. “I love you, son.”

  Cole stood on unsteady legs and said words he’d never said before in his life. “I love you, too, Grandpa.” He hugged his grandfather, and the walls of Jamie came down with a flourish. The past and the bad memories were as cold as the ashes of the fire. He could feel love to the fullest and recognize it when he felt it. He didn’t have to yearn for it anymore. He had it. He had everything he ever wanted.

  Except for Grace.

  CHAPTER NINETEEN

  IT WAS NEARING CHRISTMAS, and Grace had long days at the retirement villas. Everyone wanted to be ready for the big event. The place was decorated to the hilt, and there seemed to be an air of excitement. And everyone wanted something done, from wrapping presents to making sure their children would be there sometime during the holiday. That was the sad part. Sometimes the children didn’t show up. But everyone at the villas tried to make it as happy as possible for everyone.

  Carolers from several churches wou
ld come in on Christmas Eve from four to ten in the evening and again on Christmas morning from nine to eleven. She had it planned down to the last minute. Christmas Eve was the big party in the community room. The tree had been decorated in red and silver, and gifts were beneath it. Management always gave everyone a gift; it was usually socks, and it was again this year. It was a small gift, but they appreciated it.

  Mr. Walt had called and asked if she could come on Christmas Eve, and she told him that she didn’t know. And she didn’t. There was so much to do, and she didn’t know when she could get away. She promised Mr. Walt she would do her best to be there on Christmas Day. She wasn’t working that day. The families would arrive and take care of most of the residents. Those families who didn’t show would make it a sad day for some. They could listen to Christmas music and do what they normally did. There would be a big lunch to enjoy.

  She was always exhausted when she reached home, but Zoe always brought her joy. She was growing so fast, Grace wanted to keep her a baby forever. She was sitting and playing with Zoe when Frannie dropped a bombshell on her.

  “Grace. I know you’re busy, but could I talk to you for a minute?”

  Grace stared at her friend, who seemed nervous. And Frannie was never nervous. She always faced life head-on. “What’s up?”

  She pulled something out of her jeans. “Robert sent me a ticket to come for Christmas. I leave at eleven on Christmas Eve. I know it’s short notice, but...”

  Grace put Zoe on the floor and stood up. “What are you so nervous about?” They’d been friends forever, and there had never been an awkward moment between them.

  “I hate to leave you shorthanded. Who will you get to keep Zoe?”

  “I’ll just take her with me to the villas. She’ll be a source of entertainment for those who have no families coming. It should work out, so don’t worry.”

  “There’s something else.”

  “What? If you’re not coming back for a few days, I’ll work something out. We always work something out.”

  “Robert wants me to come to Virginia to live, and I’m thinking about doing that. You’re strong enough now to handle life on your own.”

  Grace desperately tried to be happy for her friend. She really tried, and then she had to force herself. She hugged Frannie. “Forgive me if I’m feeling a little sad. I will miss you, but you’re right. I’m strong enough now to handle life. Thank you for being my anchor for so long.”

  “Oh, sweetie.” Frannie brushed away a few tears, as did Grace. “You’ve been such a blessing in my life. It would’ve been so lonely without you and Brooke. We don’t have to lose touch. We have phones and we can FaceTime—we can do all kinds of things. I will never lose touch with you. I want to see pictures of Zoe almost every day.”

  “When will you be leaving?”

  “After I come back from Christmas, I’m putting the house on the market, and probably around March I’ll leave. That will give you time to find someone to keep Zoe—I’m not leaving until you do. I want it to be someone who will take very good care of her.”

  Grace smiled through her tears. “I love you, Frannie.”

  “I love you, too, Gracie. And if I don’t get along with my daughter-in-law, I will be coming back here to live with you.”

  Grace laughed. Her last link to family was leaving, but oddly enough, fear didn’t grip her or paralyze her. She could handle it. For Zoe and for herself, she could face this new life and whatever came next.

  * * *

  ON SUNDAY AFTERNOON Cole and Grandpa painted the living room in an off-white color. It brightened up the room but made everything else look dirty. That’s when they realized they needed to paint all the other rooms.

  “This house needs a lot of work,” Grandpa remarked.

  Cole agreed. “We’ll start on that after the first of the year. Let’s concentrate on getting through Christmas.”

  “I talked to Grace and asked her to come on Christmas Eve, and she said she didn’t know when she could get off.”

  There was sadness in Grandpa’s voice, and it ignited a bit of anger in his stomach. Why couldn’t she come? Grandpa wanted to see Zoe, and Cole did, too. But he had to let it go.

  Christmas Eve he came home to find a seven-foot-tall Christmas tree in the corner of the living room. He stared like a five-year-old at the bright lights and the colorful ornaments. At the top of the tree was a star that made him catch his breath.

  “Remember that?” Grandpa asked as Cole continued to stare at the tree.

  “I made that in fifth grade.” He cleared his throat. “You kept it?”

  “Of course I kept it. I kept all that stuff we decorated the tree with in the barn. I put them in a plastic box I bought at Walmart and stored them in the attic. It’s about time we celebrated Christmas in this living room again.”

  All the years he’d felt unloved and unwanted came down to this moment. He hadn’t felt loved then, but he felt it deeply now. As an adult he was beginning to see that people expressed love in different ways. His grandpa was always there for him, making sure he had things like other kids. His grandmother cooked his favorite foods for him, and she had made his grandfather buy an expensive car so Cole would be safe. Her love was there, but he never recognized it beyond her grief. It seemed as if a sad little boy suddenly stepped into the shoes of the adult Cole. He understood everything. And the pain and the sadness were no longer there.

  * * *

  ON CHRISTMAS EVE Grace was busily getting everything done that she needed to. There were snacks and drinks in the community room, and people were coming and going and visiting with their loved ones. She wanted to leave by two o’clock. She had told Mr. Walt she didn’t know when she could get there, but she would try to make it for Christmas Eve. There was no sense in spending Christmas alone when Zoe would bring Mr. Walt so much joy. And seeing Cole would make her Christmas.

  Zoe did well in the Pack ’n Play and enjoyed seeing all the people. They oohed and aahed over her. In Christmassy red and white with a big red bow on top of her head, Zoe smiled at everyone. Grace’s eyes kept straying to the big clock on the wall. She had to leave soon to make it to Horseshoe by four. Mr. Walt had said that everyone gathered on the courthouse square to celebrate Christmas, and she wanted to be there by then. Zoe would enjoy it. And she would, too.

  Just as she was about to say her goodbyes, Mrs. Carroll fell to the floor in excruciating pain. She screamed and clutched her right side. She had recently had hip surgery, and Grace knew something was wrong. She dropped down by Mrs. Carroll as everyone looked on. She called 911 and then the RN.

  “It hurts, Grace. I’m scared.” Mrs. Carroll was eighty-five and was one of those residents who had no one—her son and daughter rarely visited.

  “It’ll be okay. Just hold on.”

  Grace’s aide, Nancy, got everyone out of the room while Grace dealt with Mrs. Carroll. The RN arrived and checked her over, and then the ambulance arrived. Soon Mrs. Carroll was carted out on a gurney. Grace hurried to her office to call the son and daughter. As usual they said to do what needed to be done and that they were celebrating Christmas with their families and couldn’t come. How could some people be so cruel?

  Gwen, the RN, came back in. “She’s really scared.”

  Grace and Gwen had been friends for a long time and usually went out to eat or for drinks, but since Zoe’s arrival, Grace’s social life had dwindled to nothing.

  “I know. Her kids aren’t coming. I guess I’ll go to the hospital and see how she is.”

  “Don’t you have plans with the hero cop?”

  “Yeah, but I can’t leave her all alone.”

  Gwen studied her for a few seconds. “Grace, she’s not your responsibility after she leaves here. The hospital will take very good care of her. Go and have a merry Christmas. You deserve a little bit of happiness, too.”

 
Grace thought about that for a minute. “I’ll go over and check on Mrs. Carroll and try to make it to Horseshoe by five. I think I can make it work.”

  “You can’t make everybody happy. Take this time for yourself and go. Mrs. Carroll will be okay.”

  She wished she could do as Gwen had said. But there was something in her that couldn’t leave an elderly person who was scared and alone. Maybe it had something to do with her grandmother, who had taught her to look out for others. Whatever it was, it was there and Grace couldn’t ignore it. Mr. Walt would understand if she was a little late.

  Luckily there was a girl she knew at the receptionist’s desk in the lobby. She asked if she would look out for Zoe while she went and checked on a patient. She happily agreed since nothing was going on.

  Mrs. Carroll’s bones were porous—the hip was fractured and they had to go into surgery to pin it. She went in to reassure Mrs. Carroll, and she seemed to relax.

  Grace waited in the lobby with Zoe until the nurse called to tell her that the surgery was over. The receptionist took Zoe, and she hurried upstairs again. Mrs. Carroll was just waking up. She reached out and grabbed Grace’s hand.

  “Thank you.”

  “Everything went fine,” Grace told her. “You’ll be back to the villas in no time. Just relax and get some rest. I’ll try to see you tomorrow.”

  Mrs. Carroll closed her eyes, and Grace hurried to the lobby once again. Thanking the receptionist and wishing her a merry Christmas, she took Zoe and ran for the front door and Horseshoe.

  When she drove over the cattle guard, she noticed it was after seven—too late to enjoy the festivities on the town square. The tree had already been lit and everyone was probably singing Christmas songs by now.

  The garage door was down, and the house was dark. She drove around to the back, where there was a light over the back door and at the barn.