To Save a Child--A Clean Romance Page 22

  She rested her head on the steering wheel. Maybe Gwen was right. She couldn’t make everyone happy and she should stop trying. Maybe she should think about herself for a change, but she wasn’t that type of person.

  The look on Mrs. Carroll’s face had said it all for her. She could rest now that she knew someone cared. That meant a lot to Grace. But she’d disappointed people she cared a lot about. She put her window down and breathed in the fresh country air, and that scent of cleanliness evoked a memory of home.

  From the second Cole Chisholm had rescued her, there been a connection that she couldn’t explain. And after everything they had been through, that connection hadn’t changed. Everything she ever wanted was here on this country farm. And she didn’t understand why she’d had such a hard time accepting it.

  * * *

  COLE AND GRANDPA made their way home from the festivities in Horseshoe.

  “That was a really big crowd tonight,” Grandpa said. “I saw people I haven’t seen in years.”

  “Me, too,” Cole replied. It was a big event for people who grew up in Horseshoe. He’d seen a lot of people tonight he grew up and went to school with. It was a catching-up time, like a big family reunion, as everyone stood around the big tree, drank coffee and hot chocolate, and ate kolaches and later sang Christmas songs. No liquor was allowed. It was a family occasion. He just wished Grace had cared enough to come.

  As if reading his thoughts, Grandpa said, “I thought she’d come. Zoe would have enjoyed watching the tree light up.”

  “Just you and me, Grandpa. We’ve done that a time or two.” He tried to cheer him up.

  “That we have.”

  He drove into the garage, and they got out.

  “You’re helping me cook a big meal tomorrow.”

  “Grandpa, we don’t need all that food. We can eat at Miss Bertie’s.”

  “We’re not eating at Bertie’s. We’re cooking dinner just like your grandmother did. That’s what family is about. There might be two of us, but were still a family.”

  Cole groaned as they went into the house and flipped on lights.

  “Where’s Rascal?” Grandpa asked. “He’s not in his bed.”

  “He probably went—” Cole could hear the dog barking. “He’s outside.”

  “He never goes out this late,” Grandpa said. “He must have an armadillo cornered again.”

  Cole opened the back door, and his heart lifted. There was Grace and Zoe, and Rascal jumping up and down barking at them. They were here!

  “Grandpa, come look.”

  “Nah. Leave that dog outside. He’ll come in when he wants to.”

  “He doesn’t have an armadillo. He has something else, and you have to see it. Come here.”

  Grandpa stomped to the back door. “I’m ready to sit down. I’ve been standing all night.”

  Cole opened the door wide, and Grandpa’s tired blue eyes lit up like the Christmas tree in Horseshoe. “They’re here! We should have left the door open.” He hurried outside as fast as he could, and Cole trailed behind him. Grandpa grabbed Zoe and kissed her cheeks.

  “She’s cold. I’m taking her inside.”

  He stared at Grace in the moonlight. He’d never seen anyone more lovely. “You made it.”

  “I’m sorry I’m so late.” She told him what had happened at the villas, and he realized how much she cared about other people. He and Grandpa fit in there somewhere, but he wanted more from her, much more. A tiny part of him was beginning to realize that might never happen.

  * * *

  CHRISTMAS WAS ONE of the best Grace had ever had. Cole helped her carry her things into the house. She carried the diaper bag through the breakfast room to the living room and stopped dead. The diaper bag fell from her hands. She looked around at the freshly painted room with no pictures of Jamie. She glanced at Mr. Walt, who was playing with Zoe in his chair.

  “What happened to the pictures?”

  “Oh, Cole and I burned them. We burned the stuff in the attic, too.”

  She ran over and gave him a big hug. “Mr. Walt, I’m so proud of you.”

  Cole walked in from putting her stuff in the bedroom, and she glanced at him. “It’s amazing. The room looks so much bigger.”

  “Amazing Grace,” he murmured.

  She smiled and walked to him, hugging him around the waist. “I’ll let you get away with that this time.” She poked him in the ribs. “Only this time.”

  After that, everything was magical, but at times Grace could feel herself pulling away, and she didn’t know why. They got up early to put Zoe’s toys under the tree. Cole explained to her about some of the ornaments on the tree and the star. There were some they had used in the barn years ago. It brought tears to her eyes. There was a miracle happening with the Chisholm men, and it was awesome to watch.

  Mr. Walt had bought Zoe a big red wagon with tall sides, and Cole had bought her a teddy bear that was five times as big as she was. There were other gifts there, too, and Grace couldn’t help but think how lucky Zoe was to have so many people love her.

  They couldn’t get Zoe out of the wagon, so Mr. Walt took her outside to pull her around while she and Cole started dinner. Mr. Walt already had a big hen baking. Cole had talked him out of a turkey, it seemed. Cooking with Cole was so much more fun than with Mr. Walt. They laughed, joked and flirted and she soaked up his presence, his smile, his good mood. It was Christmas, after all.

  They managed to get Christmas dinner on the table without ruining anything. It was just the four of them, and it felt like family—the only family she had. It was right there on the edge of her mind, waiting for her to just grab it and hold on to it and never let go. But something was holding her back, and she didn’t know what it was. So she went with the mood and tried not to let it get her down.

  Later Bo showed up and had his customary beer, and there was more laughter and visiting. Eventually the day came to an end, and she had to return to Austin. She had to check on Mrs. Carroll and...

  “Could we talk for a minute?” Cole asked.

  They sat at the kitchen table like they had so many times before.

  “It was a good Christmas, but I feel you were just partly here. Is something wrong?”

  She pushed back her hair. “I don’t know. I’m trying to come to grips with Brooke’s death, and I’m now getting all this anger inside and I don’t know what to do with it.” Finally, she’d put her finger on was bothering her. The anger. That wasn’t like her.

  “Let it go,” he told her. “You did everything you could, and there’s nothing for you to feel guilty about.”

  She twisted her hands in her lap. “It’s not that easy.”

  “It is. If you want a life, you have to let it go.” He paused for a moment and lifted her chin so he could look into her eyes. “You’re the most wonderful woman I’ve ever met, and if anyone deserves a life, you do. You brought sunshine to this place—” he waved his hand toward the bare walls “—and chased all the ghosts away. That takes a special kind of person, and it’s time for you to live your life. And I don’t need any more time to know how I feel about you. My feelings are rock solid. I want you to be part of my life. A part of Grandpa’s life. The choice is up to you.”

  “Cole—”

  He placed a finger over her lips and stood and kissed her cheek, slowly. She breathed in the scent of him and his masculinity, and it triggered every feminine emotion in her. She loved him. Why couldn’t she deal with all the negative feelings inside her about her sister? Why couldn’t she just let go and accept what he was offering her? What was holding her back?

  * * *

  DAYS TURNED INTO another week, and the New Year rolled around. Cole and Bo sat in back of the barn, drinking beer and popping firecrackers. They used to do that as teenagers.

  “I think we’re getting too old for this,” C
ole said. “It used to be more fun when we tried to hide it from Grandpa.”

  Bo set off another rocket that blasted into the air with bursts of lights that lit up the sky. “Like he couldn’t hear these rockets going off like bombs.”

  “He let us get away with a lot,” Cole remarked.

  “Mmm.”

  They sat there staring into the moonlit night, and they could hear fireworks going off down the road. Everyone was celebrating the New Year.

  “I don’t think she’s coming back.”

  “Why not?” He didn’t have to tell Bo who he was talking about. He knew.

  “It’s just a feeling I have. She’s not over her sister’s death, and I can’t help her.”

  “Sorry, man. But give it some time.”

  Time—that ever-evolving thing that never stayed the same.

  He went back to work and tried to put Grace out of his mind, but she was always right there. He was never going to forget her. Ironically, Grandpa was fine living his life like he used to. Cole was heartbroken.

  They had been like broken stick figures, and Grace had put them back together again. And now she was gone. How was he supposed to deal with that?

  CHAPTER TWENTY

  DAYS TURNED INTO WEEKS, and Grace just went through the motions of living. Frannie had returned home and was busy packing up her house. She’d put it on the market. Grace had found someone to babysit Zoe. Actually, Frannie had found her. She was a retired lady who lived down the street and was looking for something to do. Grace knew her, so that made it much easier.

  Mrs. Carroll went to a rehab center to regain her strength and would be back at the villas in a couple of weeks. Her daughter had finally arrived and was taking care of things. Life settled down at work, and Grace’s days weren’t so long.

  Zoe’s birthday came in February, and Grace didn’t call Mr. Walt or Cole. She thought it best if she didn’t. She had to put distance between them for now. It hurt to do that, but she was trying very hard to figure out how to handle the emotions inside her.

  While helping Frannie pack odds and ends for the movers, she came across some photo albums and took a peek before putting them in the box. One of them was of her and Brooke when they were kids. She curled up on the floor and flipped through the pages. Frannie sat on the sofa beside her.

  “Now aren’t those some beautiful girls?”

  “We look a lot alike.”

  “Not when a person gets to know you. You have a big heart and have a need to help everyone, but sometimes I don’t think Brooke cared about anybody but herself. I’m sorry if that hurts.”

  She looked up at the woman who knew them better than anyone. “It doesn’t hurt. I’ve been trying to understand my feelings about Brooke these past few weeks, and I haven’t succeeded. Looking at these photos, I remember all the arguments and all the times I tried to make her see sense, but she had to have her own way. Remember that time she wanted to marry that boy when she was sixteen and he was seventeen? She went on and on about how she loved him and she was never going to love anyone the way she loved him.”

  “Oh, my, do I remember that. She was going to run away and marry him. And then two weeks later he was killed in a drug deal gone bad. She cried for days.”

  “Stayed in her room and wouldn’t go to school. I thought I’d never get her out of that room,” Grace murmured almost to herself.

  “All it took was the new paperboy in his souped-up car.”

  “Yeah, she was running away that morning. She got up early, which she never did. I watched her out my window to see where she was going. The paperboy drove up about that time and pulled to the curb. She leaned in for a long time and talked to him. He pulled away to finish his route, and she came back into the house. And then she was in love with him. That’s the story of Brooke’s life. She needed someone to love. I loved her, but it wasn’t enough. Zoe wasn’t enough, either.”

  “Gracie, you did all you could for your sister, so don’t beat yourself up over this. I’d feel much better if you’d talk to Cole. I just want you to have someone to care for you the way you deserve.”

  Grace got to her feet and placed the album on the sofa. “Yes, I deserve that. I’m going out for a while. Will you watch Zoe?”

  “Of course, of course, go and have a good time. Call one of your friends and go out to eat or something. Enjoy yourself for a change.”

  Grace didn’t call anyone. She went to the cemetery. Since it was late February and the weather was cold, she bundled up in her big coat and pulled a cap over her head to stay warm. With the chilly weather, the cemetery was empty. The grass crunched beneath her boots as she walked through tombstones to reach the grave. A morbid sense of futility washed over her as she stared at the tombstones of her parents and her grandparents and Brooke’s freshly dug grave.

  She drew cold air into her lungs and fought against emotions that she couldn’t control. What she could control was her life and how she lived it. She shoved her hands into her pockets. She stood there with the cold wind stinging her cheeks, and it became clear how Brooke had manipulated her over the years. She had to say something for her own peace of mind.

  “He didn’t love you. He took your life and he didn’t love you and no matter what I said you wouldn’t listen. Why couldn’t you see how bad Joel Briggs was, especially when Zoe was born? You had a child and she should’ve been your main focus, but the moment he called, you ran to him and left Zoe with me because you knew I would take care of her. But she needed her mother. She needed you, and you put him before her. That’s what makes me so angry and I can’t get past it. And Kevin Colson? I can’t even put into words how angry I am about that. If you were so in love with Joel, how did that happen? Since you did so much to stay with Joel, I have to assume you didn’t know Kevin was the father. For years I’ve tried to guide you, and you went in all the wrong directions to spite me. Look how it ended.

  “If it hadn’t been for Cole, Zoe would be living with strangers clear across the country. He risked his job to save a child. Your child. He did it for me. That’s love, real love—obviously something you’d never grasped, even though I showered you with love when our mother ignored us. I’m not having any more guilty feelings about what happened. It was your life, and you chose to degrade yourself for a man who used you. That was your choice, and my choice now is to forgive myself and raise your daughter as best as I can. I love Zoe with all my heart just the way I loved you. I’m mad right now, but...but I still love you and hope you rest in peace.”

  When the tears came, they brought her to her knees, and she said goodbye to the sister she’d loved. “You got in over your head, Brookie, and I guess there was no turning back.” The anger left her chest in a swoosh of tears and hiccups. She got to her feet and walked out of the cemetery, feeling free for the first time in months.

  * * *

  COLE HAD JUST helped solve a murder case, and he had two days off. A murder case was draining emotionally and sometimes physically. The seedier side of life always got to him.

  He helped Grandpa feed the boys and the chickens and just relaxed being at home. He hadn’t heard a word from Grace since Christmas. Slowly she was pulling away from them, and they had to let her go. Their days together were just a moment out of time, but he would remember her always. He didn’t think there was a day that went by he didn’t think of her and Zoe and wonder how they were doing.

  “I think I’ll get the tractor out and plow a garden,” Grandpa said.

  “Why?” Cole asked as patiently as possible.

  “Because we need food to eat. Those vegetables your grandma canned won’t last forever. Then what will we eat?”

  “Those same vegetables are available at the grocery store.”

  “They don’t taste the same.”

  Grandpa was pushing his buttons again. “Okay, whatever, but I don’t have much time to help you.” />
  “I don’t need your help. I’ve been planting a garden since before you were born.”

  They were sniping at each other again. All of Amazing Grace’s magic was for naught. Or he was just having a bad day. Grandpa was still his old self. He was the one having a hard time adjusting to Grace not coming back.

  He leaned on the old wood fence and watched as Barney nudged Gomer with his horns. Gently, but not friendly. They were testy, too. Even though it was cold today, there was a freshness in the air that signaled spring wasn’t far away. It had been four months since he had found Grace lying on the cold, hard ground unconscious. He couldn’t have known how that moment would change his life forever.

  Rascal barked, and he glanced toward the lane and saw a blue car coming toward the house. Grace’s car! She was back!

  She pulled around to the back door and got out, and then she opened the car door to get Zoe out. He blinked to make sure he wasn’t dreaming.

  He slowly walked toward her and realized he was holding his breath. Sucking in air, he kept walking.

  Grace set Zoe on her feet, and she toddled to him with a big pink bow bobbling on her head. He squatted and caught her.

  “Hey, smooches.”

  She planted a big kiss on his cheek with a loud kissing sound.

  Cole glanced at Grace.

  “She’s giving kisses now. Loudly. I think she saw it on a cartoon.”

  “Cole, where did you...” Grandpa came out of the barn and stopped in midsentence when he saw who was here. “Oh, my, Zoe Grace, my baby, has come home.”

  Cole kissed Zoe’s cheek and pointed her toward Grandpa. She took off as fast as her little feet could carry her, jabbering all the way.

  He turned his attention to Grace and stared into her beautiful dark eyes. They were bright and clear, and he didn’t see any sadness or secrets. “You look great.”

  She brushed back her hair. “I feel great.”

  “Got rid of the demons, huh?”